The following steps will not eliminate conflict but will certainly be able to reduce the severity of the conflict.
1. Be proactive, not reactive
One morning when I woke up and was about to go to the bathroom, I stepped too close to the bed. I stumble toes foot of the bed. When finished screaming and jumping up and down, I have a choice. I can only pity myself and went back to bed ( not a bad the choice, but not very productive ). Instead, I choose to think of it as an event that is out of control but fateful and limped throughout the day.
Every day you make a decision. Some decisions, such as deciding to hobble into work, only a small decision. Other decisions greatly affect your day or even could change your life. Your daily decisions can generally be classified into two :
a. Reactive : You let the events of your life control you.
b. Proactive : To a certain extent, you control the outcome.
Let me give you an example that is familiar about the first option. Think of when a motorist cuts you irreverent on the highway. Maybe you honk the horn, said a few choice phrases or hitting the steering wheel. Now take a step back and remember what your body feels. Your blood pressure rises and your muscles tighten. Your stomach may feel moved .
Are people who are rude earlier makes you angry ? Not really. Do you allow your reaction to the rude behavior by your choice ? Definitely. These are events that are beyond control. You allow circumstances to dictate your behavior is not desirable. However, you have control over your response to this event. Remember : The person you allow to make you angry you are actually in control.
Now apply the second option to take control over the situation that you can change for the working environment. Think about your manager know. Some of them spend much of their time solving problems, switching from one dilemma to the next dilemma. These managers only have a limited time and are always seen playing chase chase. They react to the world. Other managers cope with the disruption of work in a way that is elegant and efficient. These managers become more skilful and actually have time to plan for the future and guiding employees. They take a proactive stance in their world.
How much time do you spend planning your work ? When you make a decision whether you imagine the obstacles that may arise, which could impede the implementation ?
How much budget you set aside to train your staff ? Do you foresee a long range ? If the answer to this question is no, never or not , it is helpful to spend more time for preparation and planning. If you realize you’re spending too much time with the settlement of the problem, consider to be more proactive and plan ahead.
2 . Be slow to anger – especially anger caused trifles.
This is a lesson that every successful manager has learned. People are human. People make mistakes. Most of the errors that cause minor effects on the company. If the problem is trivial, the response should have a corrective action without unnecessary emotion. Asked an employee with a neutral tone on how errors can occur is one way to try a better approach. Sometimes the instruction or warning procedures are necessary.
Sometimes an error creates serious problems for the company. You can be angry because of the difficulty it should be avoided. It is important that your anger at the situation would not be excessive personal attack to the employee in charge. People tend to respond in a similar way to us. Express anger or resentment toward a situation is normal, but not to an individual. It would be more effective if you embrace your employees to find solutions and prevent the same mistakes.
To increase the effective working relationship, do not be too quick to anger. Treat minor incident with a controlled and appropriate emotion. If a big mistake cause you frustration, anger channeling not only on the employees. And when an employee reacts with anger to managerial intervention, do not respond in the same way.
3 . Show their mistakes indirectly
Ben Franklin wrote in his autobiography how in his youth he often corrected the errors openly when they are wrong. What he found even though it is very logical and have facts that support, it is very rare to persuade people that they are wrong. To make matters worse, he found that many of these people had a grudge against him for years. While he tries to help, he turned out to increase the number of enemies.
In a business environment, managers who treat their employees like children will quickly learn the lesson was Ben Franklin. It is not effective if we just show the employees fault alone. The adults have a choice ( even if they are an employee ! ). Employees who make the mistake of doing it on purpose. They may not realize the consequences of their actions, but in many cases they do so in an honest way. The cause and effect relationship has not been there or made.
Your role as a manager is to help employees know how their behavior creates a problem, without treating them like children. Your ultimate goal is to make employees know which option to choose the correct time. It can be done if you are approached by discussing indirectly. Good technique is to ask non-judgmental manner, ” What happened ? ” Allow employees to discover how their actions contribute to the error.
Ben Franklin learn from his mistakes and develop a number of skills that can be learned. For example, when someone expressed an opinion that is not quite right , Mr. Franklin began to respond with phrases such as, ” In many cases, I would probably feel the same as you about this. However, if the fact is different … ” . He found that people were more open to discussion and more sensitive to the input when he applied the indirect approach.
Learn and do the three tips above with practice. Evaluate your response to conflict and think about what you might have done before. Over time, you will be the kind of manager who can handle conflict effectively and have fewer conflicts.